Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Troubling images of Julia Gillard

I'm going to put a public health warning on this post - it contains some images of Julia Gillard that I had to think long and hard about before reproducing. I've decided to go ahead with it, because I think that they need to be in the public domain, because it's in the public interest. I do it with a heavy heart and an understanding of the implications it might have on my own health and standing in the party.

As some of you may know, Julia Gillard stopped being the Australian Prime Minister today - largely due to incredibly shady yarn-based dealings. Ms Gillard thought it appropriate to solicit services from a photographer, and then to pass on the resulting images to Women's Weekly. I'm not even going to try and understand why she might try and do something so sick and wrong.

Ms Gillard, who thought it appropriate to pose with what I can only assume is an acrylic based substance. 

What I find even more galling is that this isn't the first time. People argued that she might be doing this to try and alter her image before elections - but it simply isn't true. These images form part of a pattern that has been going on for years in what some could see as an addiction. A twisted addiction to being occasionally photographed doing a craft that you actually enjoy.

Whilst grainy, this image depicts Gillard with another troubled knitter.
This picture, if not a sad enough portrayal of two women, bonded only by their love of garter stitch, also proves more wrongdoing. Ms Gillard knowingly visited Radio Brisbane in July last year and became a fully certified 'Knit-wit'. I don't know what the term means, but I can only assume it's part of some secret language that these people have developed so that addicts can go about their ways undetected.

Ms Gillard knits some kind of 'gift'
The above picture shows the horrifying extent of Ms Gillard's affliction. She's pictured here crafting with the understanding that another human being will receive her handiwork. Those who thought that they were protected from this kind of thing by the 'Restriction of Transfer of Knitted Goods Act 2010' may sleep less soundly in their beds. Julia Gillard clearly has no regard for law and order.

The final picture is the most shocking, and I'd advise those of a delicate disposition to stare at the Google welcome screen for at least ten minutes to calm yourself down before attempting it.

Julia presents her finished creation in all it's stomach-churning softness. 
I find this last image most shocking of all, because, to me, it shows Gillard, proud as punch with her finished knitted item, almost lunging at the camera man. Desperate to be photographed holding it. It is sick, it is wrong and it scares me.

Gillard's defence that she wasn't really a knitter, and that she was only doing it to soften her image may fool some, but I'm led to believe there is far worse at play here. Julia Gillard actually enjoyed knitting. She actually enjoyed making things with her hands using yarn and knitting needles.

I for one will sleep more safely in my bed knowing that Australia is under the safe guidance of a man who, when asked if he preferred to knit or purl, answered 'What? Who are you? Get out of my garage.'

Can you help with a future post? Anybody with any information on whether Gillard liked sock knitting, or whether she ever used a circular needle please email me on 


  1. This is bloody brilliant, Sam!! Am laughing like a drain. Off to read the rest of your blog :-)

  2. Excellent post. I like to knit, and this made me smile.

    1. I wrote it whilst crocheting granny squares - we're both in on it!